The year of 2025 is wrapping up. One door closing. Another opening. With that comes the freshness of a new number, a clean slate, the next chapter of you. This is the time of year when many people reflect back on the last twelve months. We celebrate what worked, what we achieved, what we followed through on. We also look at the things that didn’t really take flight. Regardless of goals achieved or not, we are changed. We are not the same people we were on January 1, 2025.

Who we are now is a mix of choices and chances. The plans and goals we set at the beginning of the year give us direction, the far off peak in the distance. Goals help guide us. Then life happens. Random things jump up and bite us. Plans bend. We adapt. With commitment and hopefully some discipline, who we become along the way is this mix of choice and chance. Our growth requires effort and understanding. It requires choosing action and adapting to the uncertainties that are presented before us.

The Harvard Study of Adult Development is the world’s longest running study. It continues to offer insight after insight about what actually makes for a good life. A few of the lessons stand out.

• Relationships matter most. Working to create and maintain good relationships keeps up happier, healthier and can delay physical and mental declines.
• Social Connection is crucial. Loneliness is a killer, it’s now considered as bad as smoking.
• Your personality can change over time.
• Healthy habits matter too. Sleep, nutrition, exercise and not smoking are all important. BUT relationships matter MOST!

The study also tells us something about regret. At the end of life, people often talk about their regrets. What the science tells us here is that we humans regret NOT DOING things v. doing the thing. Our regrets are from not trying. They’re not from trying and failing.

Thinking back on my own regrets, one that often takes the cake is not studying Spanish in college. At eighteen years old, I was convinced I wasn’t capable of handling that level of discomfort and avoided it the way we avoid things we are afraid will expose us. I detoured around the very thing that would grow me. How many years do we need to kick that can down the road before we step up to the plate? When people are dying they don’t talk about striking out. They regret not swinging the bat.

The lesson here is the cost of inaction. A useful question might be, “If I avoid this, what might life look like in 1, 3, 5, …..24 years?”

This study teaches us something simple and uncomfortable. Take the easy route and life tends to get harder. Take the harder route and life often gets better. And for what we really want, we usually have to sacrifice other things that also add value to our lives. We just aren’t great at predicting how those choices and sacrifices will shape us.

As this year closes, I’m taking stock. Some goals were met. Others never left the page. (RIP dreams of scrambling in the Gore Range, summiting local peaks, the book list of 24) That’s part of the deal. When hiking, we spend very little time on the peaks. Most of our time is spent on the way up and the way down. That’s where the learning happens. The peaks give us direction. The journey is what shapes us. Some goals met, some not.

As we look toward another bright year, the Harvard study offers a reminder. Tie your goals to relationships whenever you can. Mostly writing to myself here: Listen to your elders. What we humans regret most is not doing the things. And what makes us happiest along the way is the people we share life with. Our families. Our friends. Our communities.

What this looks like in reality with goals is: If you’re going to take new language classes, consider doing it with a friend. Or create a text chain with your classmates. Work towards your goal and do it with others!

As the study puts it, people who are more connected to family, friends, and community are happier and physically healthier than those who are less connected.

As you reflect back and look forward,
what does it look like to share more life in 2026?

One last thing, mostly because this time of year brings it up.

I work with organizations and teams, I also work with a small number of people each quarter who want support translating reflection into meaningful, sustainable action. This work is collaborative and grounded in curiosity, courage, and accountability. Creating momentum. Strengthening skills, building habits to go get what you want.

As we head into 2026, a few spaces are open. If you are thinking about what you want to try, or stop avoiding, and want accountability as you move forward, feel free to reach out. May 2026 be your year!